5 Reasons Why You Don’t Meditate (and how to make it easier)

Meditation. For lots of people, it conjures up the image of a serene yogi folded into a pretzel shape, chanting ohm whilst achieving some kind of higher state of consciousness.

Meanwhile, you’re barely hanging on to life by your fingertips. The kids are screaming. The house looks like a right mess. Bills are piling up. So how the hell are you meant to sit quietly & meditate?

Except meditation isn’t about perfect poses or radiating bliss. You don’t need to sit silently for hours. Mediation is about finding It’s about finding what works for you — and yes, you can meditate without turning into a human pretzel. 

This blog is all about the five big reasons people don’t meditate.

But before we get going, let me just tackle a few important (and totally valid) thoughts that pop up when the word meditation comes up:

Have You Ever Tried Meditation?

My legs would go numb
My back would hurt.
My brain would immediately start wondering what’s for dinner.
I have better things to do with my limited time.

Most people will say yes, they have tried mediation. And that it simply doesn’t work for them.

They might have given it a whirl. They sit cross-legged in a darkened room, close their eyes and start to hum softly.  They feel a bit self-conscious, but it’s okay, they’re alone in the house.

The house that needs vacuuming before the kids get home. They start to get a numb arse from sitting on the floor. The neighbour’s dog barks at the postman. They cannot achieve the blissful mental silence because they have a five-minute internal wrestling match where they end up thinking about biscuits, emails, replying to a text…

Meditation isn’t always magical, but when it clicks, it’s like giving your brain a mini spa day. 

Why You Don’t Meditate.

You forget. You get bored. You know that there’s a shit tonne of washing to get through. In fact, there’s always something more important on your to-do list…

Like refreshing Instagram for the 80th time. 

You just don’t want to. Which is also fine.

But if you’re fed up of racing thoughts, constant anxiety, having trouble sleeping and switching off, meditation might just be the key to giving your busy brain a moment of calm.

Mindful practice sounds like some kind of voodoo?

Honestly, it can sound that way. When you’re told to connect with your breath… feel the energy of the moment… 

It makes you want to back out of the room slowly. 

Mindfulness isn’t weird. Nor is it mystical. And anyone who tells you differently is probably one of those pretzel-folding, zen-like ohm-ers, which is just not for you. 

Mindfulness is actually about paying attention. Noticing your breath. Noticing the sunset. Noticing how your coffee smells. Listening to the words of a song. 

It’s about giving your brain a break from running around like a caffeinated squirrel.

No chanting, no incense, no drama. 

Seriously, that’s it. Though it’s sometimes easier said than done. 

Sitting with my thoughts? I’d rather shit in my hands and clap.

Sitting with your thoughts can feel like being trapped in a room with that awful plinky-plinky music that’s played endlessly whilst you’re waiting for the GP receptionist to pick up the phone. 

And when you’re sitting quietly, your brilliant, busy brain chooses that precise moment to replay every awkward memory, the cringeworthy moments, and any existential crises on repeat.

So the idea of sitting quietly and waiting for your brain to cooperate and quieten the fuck down can feel a bit pointless. 

BUT – and it’s a big but – there is a way around your busy thoughts. You don’t need your mind to empty of all coherent thought in order to meditate effectively. 

And, just like going to the gym, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

It’s like weightlifting for your emotional muscles.

At first, it’s heavy and awkward.

Over time, you realise you’re stronger than you thought… and the scary stuff doesn’t feel so scary anymore.

Also, you don’t have to sit quietly whilst staring into the void for an hour (who has time for that?!)

Sometimes, just two minutes is a victory.  

Now, onto the five main reasons people dodge meditation and how you can sneak mindfulness into your day without twisting into a human pretzel or chanting until your neighbours call the council.

1. I Forget.

You and me both! 

Meditation can feel like yet another thing on the never-ending to-do list. 

One thing I found really useful is to forget perfection. Instead, sneak in mindfulness whenever you remember. Short bursts add up!

Then I built in some short mindful breathing to give me short bursts of mindful moments each day. 

TIP

Stop & Breathe

• Set up an alarm for two to three times a day.
• Each time the alarm goes off, stop whatever you’re doing.
• Stand up (if you can) or sit up straight.
• Take a nice, slow, deep breath in; from the bottom of your diaphragm to the top of your shoulders.
• Fill up those lungs; see how slowly you can do it.
• Hold for a few seconds (as long as it feels comfortable to do so).
• Then breathe out as slowly as you can.
• Now take another four slow deep breaths with a hold and nice long slow exhales.

Bonus tension release: scrunch up your face and open it wide a few times. Weirdly satisfying.

Do this every day for a week, then reduce to once or twice a day moving forwards.

Alternatives to setting alarms:

Lotus Bud Mindfulness Bell App – Random gentle reminders without interrupting meetings.

Mindfulness Bell App – Pick your times and intervals to keep you on track.

(You could even decide when the bell goes off at an ideal time to try a longer period of meditation/ breathing/ mindfulness practice).

2. It’s Boring.

Sure, if you treat meditation like a punishment, it’ll definitely feel like one. But mindfulness doesn’t have to be a yawn-fest. It’s all about finding something you actually enjoy. 

What pulls your attention naturally? 

Maybe it’s reading a good book, getting lost in a workout (both brilliant mindful practices, by the way), tackling a crossword puzzle, or diving into anything else that keeps you present and engaged. Mindfulness isn’t about forcing yourself to sit still. It’s about paying attention to whatever lights you up.

TIP:

The Mindful Walk.

• Leave your phone behind (or hide it in your pocket on silent).
  
• Walk slowly. As you take your stroll, pay attention to the things you can see:
  • Did you see any wildlife?
  • What can you smell?
  • How does the ground feel under your feet?
  • What noises do you hear?
    

If you find your mind wandering and thinking about what you had for breakfast, what you need to cook for dinner or what you need to prep for work next week, bring your mind back to the present.

Be kind to yourself.

There are no rights or wrongs here.

This is merely an exercise in training your brain to live in the present and appreciate everything around you.

Remember: no judgment. Just noticing. Just being. Just enjoying the walk. (Plus, it’s way more entertaining than doom-scrolling.)

3. I find it hard without guidance, but so many of the guided meditations are just… shit.

I hear you! But here’s a gentle reframe for you: You’re not fussy – you’re discerning.

I seldom listen to guided meditations because SO many of them drive me doolally! It can take a lot of experimentation and trial and error. Sometimes it’s worth the journey. 

Here’s a way of doing a meditation without listening to someone drone on: 

TIP

Listen to the music

Pick a song. Any song.

It can be your favourite one that you know all the lyrics to, one you’ve never listened to before or something in between. On this occasion, choosing a song you love may be best so you don’t get into it and find you’re frustrated by the vocals or the many layers of the music.

Before you press play, get comfortable (sitting or lying down, whichever you prefer)

Once the song is on, close your eyes and listen very carefully to it.

• Lyrics – What could they mean? What do they mean to you?
• Instruments – How many can you pick out?
• Melodies

If your mind wanders, that’s okay. Just gently ring it back to the music. 

Keep paying all your attention to the song until it ends.

Once you are done, open your eyes, give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve been still for a few minutes and just practised a great mindfulness and meditation technique.

No whale sounds or irritating voiceovers required.

Meditation is not as complicated as we think it is.

Sometimes we just need to find what works for us.

4. I Have Better Things To Do.

Do you, though?

Because you are important. You deserve to be at the top of that never-ending pile of shit to do, not buried underneath it.

Continuing to put yourself last, skipping the things you know would massively benefit your brain and nervous system… isn’t exactly an act of kindness toward yourself, is it?

Skipping it is like saying you’re too busy to plug your phone in and then wondering why the battery runs flat.

Maybe it’s time to practice a little more self-love and appreciation. Here’s a quick meditation to start planting some loving thoughts into that brilliant, beautiful brain of yours:

TIP

The Quickie/One-Minute Love Bomb

• Sit or lie comfortably and set a timer for one minute.
• For the whole of that minute, repeat aloud:
  • ‘May I be happy, may I be well, may I be filled with kindness and peace.’
• You can say “you” instead of “I” and think of someone you know and like, or just send love to everyone.

Feel weird? Good. That’s your brain stretching into new territory.

5. It Hurts. 

Well, having a filthy mind, when someone first said that they couldn’t meditate because it hurt, my brain darted down an entirely different path…

What they meant was that sitting cross-legged was painful for them, so that’s why they don’t meditate. 

I’m here to tell you that you absolutely do not need to sit cross-legged in the lotus position.

It can be done sitting with your legs in a diamond shape, out in front of you slightly bent, sitting on a chair, or even (if you’re willing to take the gamble of potentially falling asleep) lying down. 

It’s not supposed to be painful.

Do what works for you.

Your comfort is key and comes first – always.

Taking time to simply ‘be’ and observe your thoughts is the most important thing. (Definitely not sitting on a meditation cushion with your legs crossed, causing you pain.)

TIP

Tense, Release, Relax

• You can either sit in a chair, on the floor or lie somewhere comfortable. 
• Scrunch up your toes and your feet.
• Holding onto that, tense up your calf muscles.
• Keep holding the tension and tense up your knees and your thighs.
• Hold onto the tension and tense up your buttocks (or your glutes), moving through to your core muscles, your hands and arm muscles.
• Keeping the tension throughout your body, scrunch up your shoulders and screw up your face as tight as you can.
• And then release it all.
• Work back through your body from top to bottom, holding onto the tension as you go and releasing once you get to your toes.
• Then work through your body from bottom to top and top to bottom, tensing and releasing each muscle as you go. (ie scrunch up your toes, let go…tense up your leg muscles, let go…and so on)
• Now take three long, slow, deep inhales and exhales. And relax.
  

Great for winding down at the end of a long day (or surviving your next family gathering).

5(b) It Hurts… Emotionally

Ah, yes – the part no one warns you about.
Sometimes sitting quietly with yourself is uncomfortable.  Sometimes, sitting quietly feels like opening Pandora’s box.
If you’re worried about how you might react or if it feels overwhelming, this is when it’s best to seek guidance from someone who can help you safely navigate those feelings. (And if you have a diagnosed mental health condition, it’s always best to check in with your mental health professional before diving into meditation practices.)

The Trouble With Meditation & Past Trauma….

Many of us grew up believing that emotions like sadness, rage, anger, or frustration were bad. That we weren’t supposed to feel them.

Yet the fact is that all emotions have a purpose.  When we pay attention, they help us tune into our values, understand our boundaries, and figure out what really matters to us. They can help us understand why we feel a certain way about something. 

Labelling them good/ bad/ anything else is unhelpful.

Attempting to avoid them or push them down doesn’t help, either.

But undoing years of masking our feelings and re-learning that it’s perfectly okay to sit within these uncomfortable sensations takes practice.

It takes patience. And a whole heap of kindness to ourselves. Which, when you’re a victim of past trauma, can feel alien in and of itself. 

Getting used to sitting with, identifying and being aware of our thoughts and feelings can help to reduce the discomfort we feel.

Learning to sit with them, notice them, and understand them? That’s where emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and real self-love begin.

If you find yourself spiralling when you sit in silence, try different techniques to gently interrupt the pattern:

• Name the emotion you’re feeling and where it’s showing up in your body.
  
• Or flip the script: if you catch yourself thinking, ‘I’m fucking shit at this,’ answer back with something like, ‘Even though this feels challenging right now, I’m capable of learning and improving. Nobody becomes an expert overnight – but I’m on the right track.’

You don’t need to sit in silence for long periods, but even just a few mindful minutes a day can make a huge difference.

There are so many other wonderful mindful practices you can try out to improve your ability to stay in the moment.

How Mindfulness Can Help If You’ve Experienced Trauma

The real secret to self-awareness and self-love is giving yourself the time to listen to what’s going on inside, and that’s pretty hard to do when you’re distracting yourself with something else. 

Feeling uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re failing; it usually means you’re doing something new.

Make it more familiar, and it gets easier.

For those who’ve experienced trauma, mindful practices can be a powerful support. They help regulate emotions, easing anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms by allowing you to respond to emotions from a place of understanding, rather than reactively.

Over time, it builds resilience, self-awareness, and self-acceptance.
It reduces stress by breaking cycles of rumination, helping you observe your thoughts without them pulling you back under.

Trauma-informed mindfulness techniques, like grounding and anchoring, can also help you reconnect safely with your body, even if traditional meditation has felt overwhelming in the past.

In short, mindfulness isn’t about ignoring trauma, it’s about moving through it with more strength, compassion, and calm. If you’ve experienced trauma or heavy emotions, meditation can bring unexpected things to the surface. Guidance is key. A good breathwork coach or hypnotherapist (hello, that’s me!) can help you navigate safely.

TIP

Emotional Release – Breathe Out the Emotion.

If you feel ready to try this on your own, this exercise can be good for emotional release. 

• Take a seat or lie down and get comfortable.
  • Make sure your spine is straight but in a neutral position (i.e., not curved or uncomfortably straight)
• Where in your body do you feel that emotion?
  • If you want to, you can give that emotion a colour.
• Take a couple of breaths to centre yourself and bring yourself into the moment.
• Now focus on slow, calm inhales and slow, calm exhales.
• See how long you can make those breaths last without making yourself feel dizzy.
• As you breathe in, breathe in calm and relaxation.
  • Imagine clean, pure air entering your lungs and swirling around your body, picking up the emotion you want to release.
• As you breathe out, focus on feeling the emotion escape your body.
  • See it and feel it escaping from the place in your body where you feel it.
• Keep inhaling the clean, pure air, and as you breathe out, exhale the emotion.
  • Imagine the colour getting lighter and lighter with each breath until it’s as clean and pure as the air you breathe in.
• Breathe in calm and relaxation.
• Breathe out all the emotion.

Keep going until you feel calm and ready to move on with your day.

Need a Little Help Getting Started?

If you’ve read this far, you already know meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged in silence, chanting ohm until your legs go numb.

It can be simple, flexible and, dare I say it, even enjoyable. 

You just need the right tools and a plan that fits you.

If you’d like some extra support getting to grips with breathwork, mindfulness, or creating a safe, supportive meditation practice that doesn’t make you want to throw your phone across the room, I’m here to help.

Book a 1-hour coaching call and together we’ll create a personalised plan that meets you exactly where you are — no forcing, no pressure, just simple, practical steps to help you reconnect with yourself gently and confidently.

You’ll get: 

• A personalised meditation and breathwork plan tailored to your life (not some cookie-cutter nonsense)
• Bespoke practical tips and techniques you can use
• Gentle guidance to build a practice that feels good, not like another thing to beat yourself up over

Ready to make mindfulness a natural, easy part of your life, with no yoga mats and no chanting bowls required?

Mindfulness should fit you, not the other way around.
Let’s make it simple. Let’s make it yours.