Breaking Free From The Past: How ACEs Impact Health And Happiness

Early childhood experiences are foundational in shaping who we become as adults. The environment we grow up in deeply influences our physical and mental development, but also how we understand and respond to the world around us. While some may believe that young children won’t remember or be affected by early childhood trauma, the reality is quite the opposite. Adverse Childhood Experiences can have a long-lasting and often detrimental effect on emotional, mental and physical health that lasts a lifetime. 

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Adverse Childhood Experiences are much more common than people realise. The impact of these often traumatic circumstances can echo through every element of adulthood, usually in ways that we don’t always immediately recognise. Behaviours witnessed and learned when we’re children are the yardstick with which we are taught to live – from morals, belief systems, family structure and education. It is the world we are shown and it’s how we are taught to treat those around us. 

What is an Adverse Childhood Experience?

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) are encompassed by highly stressful or traumatic events that occur before the age of 18.  They range from a single event up to a prolonged period where there is a threat to a child’s safety, security, body autonomy or trust. 

They can be defined by 3 categories:

Abuse.

• Physical: Experiencing violence or physical harm.
• Emotional: Being subjected to harsh words, threats, or constant criticism.

Neglect.

• Physical: Lacking basic physical needs such as food, shelter, or adequate care.
• Emotional: Feeling unloved, unwanted, or emotionally abandoned.

Household/Family Dysfunction.

• Household Substance Abuse: Growing up in a home where alcohol or drugs were abused.
• Mental Illness in the Household: Living with family members who have mental health issues.
• Parental Separation or Divorce: The stress and instability caused by the separation of parents. Increased exposure to arguments and living with differing rules in different households.
• Incarcerated Parent: The emotional and social challenges of having a parent in prison.
• Witnessing Domestic Violence: Seeing or hearing violence between parents, relatives or caregivers.

How Adverse Childhood Experiences Impact Our Lives.

There is a clear connection between an adverse childhood experience and the negative impact on health and well-being among adults. 

The world can feel like a scary and unpredictable place to be. Children raised in unstable and negative environments often endure acute intense stress and anxiety but lack the tools and support and tools needed to manage these feelings. This can then deeply impact their emotional well-being into adulthood. Since their brains are still developing, growing up in negative or unstable environments can lead to permanent changes in the brain. Without the necessary resources to cope with their overwhelming feelings, these children may struggle to understand their emotions and instead develop alternative strategies to feel safe, which may not always be healthy or effective. These children often struggle to regulate their emotions, which then manifest as emotional outbursts, anxiety or depression in adulthood. 

It can make it harder for them to trust, build healthy relationships or pursue life goals. This dysregulation can hinder success in both personal and professional life. 

For individuals who have faced four or more ACEs, the chances of encountering mental health challenges like PTSD, addiction, or involvement in domestic violence are significantly higher.

One study showed that almost half of the male population in a prison had experienced four or more ACEs. These prisoners were FOUR TIMES more likely to experience depression and suicide attempts than those prisoners with 1 or no ACE. 

In contrast, children who have had a positive childhood experience and were raised in more stable and supportive environments tend to fare better in adulthood, with a greater level of resilience, better emotional regulation and better health.

Research from a study in 2019 has shown that around half of the population has experienced at least one ACE, with around 1 in 10 people having experienced four or more events before the age of 18.  

What ACEs look like in Adults

Adults who have been exposed to multiple ACEs often struggle with self-worth and self-compassion. They tend to carry around deep-seated feelings of shame, unworthiness, and disconnection from the world around them. These unresolved emotional wounds frequently surface in adulthood through substance abuse—whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or smoking—and through unhealthy, often abusive, relationships – both with intimate and platonic friendships. This cycle of trauma can lead to continued experiences of domestic violence, either as a victim or perpetrator. 

Prolonged exposure to intense stress also increases the risk of heart and brain-related illnesses, diabetes, and even a shortened life expectancy, underscoring the profound and long-term effects of ACEs.

Breaking Free from the Past: The First Step in Healing

The impact of ACEs can last for generations, being perpetuated by people learning to deal with what they experienced as a child. It is important to know that this cycle can be broken. 

The first step in breaking free from the past is recognising and acknowledging what you have been subjected to emotionally and psychologically as a child. 

It’s important to understand that these experiences were not your fault. Often, they are the result of an adult who lived through an Adverse Childhood Experience of their own. The emotions you feel from these experiences are all valid.  

One of the hardest things to do is to permit yourself to heal. 

Giving Yourself Permission to Heal

It is common for people who have experienced multiple ACEs to feel distant from themselves, their loved ones and their lives. However, it is crucial to give yourself permission to feel and process the emotions tied to your past. This healing process is not about burying the pain or pretending it didn’t happen. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your experiences, understanding how they have shaped you, and actively choosing not to carry them into your future.

Working with a professional psychologist or hypnotherapist can help uncover and deal with the effects of burying emotions for years. This therapeutic process allows you to acknowledge the pain and trauma you experienced as a child. It can sound scary – after all, burying those emotions is what has kept you safe, but it is the first step in helping you to end the cycle and feel better.

A technique I often use involves reframing your story. 

Rather than comparing yourself to others or feeling ashamed of your past, focus on the strength it has taken to survive and the courage it takes to heal. By addressing these deep wounds, you can break the cycle of trauma and create a healthier, more compassionate future for yourself and your loved ones.

Mindful Techniques & Emotional Regulation. 

Emotional regulation sounds a bit wanky, doesn’t it? However, when you’re about to flip the ‘fuck-it’ switch yet again, there are tools that you can use to help interrupt that pattern and steer you down a path that will allow you to stay in control. 

Hypnotherapy offers the support and guidance needed to process past traumas and emotional wounds. It allows you to feel seen, heard and validated but also change the way you view and feel about the experience.

Mindful practices such as meditation, grounding exercises and breathwork can bring you back to yourself and create that space for self-reflection. It allows you space where you can observe your emotions without being consumed by them. These techniques help you to regulate your emotions, build resilience, and reconnect with yourself. Acknowledging why you feel what you feel – even whose voice it is that is telling you that emotion – takes practice and patience. This is why it can be transformational to find a professional to help get you started in the first place. 

As with all new skills, you won’t always get it right.  Which is fine.  This is a journey, unique to you.

While it’s not an easy process, each step you take helps rebuild the most vital relationship in your life—the one with yourself. 

I Can Help.

Your past does not have to define who you are today. I work with people who are looking for professional support to heal and blaze a path of their own. 

Contact me HERE for more information.