How Your Subconscious Shapes Your Reality and How To Change It

Ever wondered why you sometimes feel so shit? Why your irrational fears can cripple you with anxiety until it’s just easier to hide away? Even though you’re desperate for a better, more fulfilling life?

It’s often the result of your subconscious mind holding onto past traumas and experiences, shaping your core beliefs in ways that can limit your potential and happiness. It can hold you back, often without you realising it. 

These subconscious influences can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, fear, or self-doubt, hindering your ability to achieve your true potential. They can prevent you from living the fulfilling life you deserve.

It is possible to overcome these beliefs. 

In this blog, we’ll explore how your subconscious shapes your reality and provide practical steps to help you make positive changes. Whether you’re struggling with past traumas, or self-doubt, or simply want to improve your mental well-being, understanding and harnessing the power of your subconscious mind is the key to unlocking your true potential. Read on to discover how you can transform your life from the inside out.

The Subconscious Mind: How It Shapes Our Lives and Limits Our Potential

Our subconscious mind is incredibly powerful. It’s also very good at protecting us.

The mind often has a way of communicating with us, telling us what we need to know without needing to acknowledge it. A bit like a gut feeling.  It remembers every single thing that has ever happened to us, even though we don’t at a conscious level. It remembers the emotions and feelings attached to these memories and categorises them as safe or unsafe.

This is what creates the fears and anxieties that dictate our actions and reactions. 

And this is what can easily stop us from doing anything that might cause physical or emotional harm, even if that thing isn’t truly harmful.

It’s also what stops us from trying new experiences and ultimately from achieving our goals.

The Invisible Effects of Past Traumas

Past traumas and experiences, especially those from childhood, play a significant role in forming and shaping our core beliefs. A single negative comment or a traumatic event can leave a lasting impact on us. These beliefs, often ingrained deeply, can create barriers to our success and happiness.

For instance, a person who was constantly told they are not good enough or criticised as a child may grow up believing this to be true, leading to a lack of self-confidence and missed opportunities. Someone who felt unloved as a child might grow into an adult with low self-esteem, always doubting their worthiness. 

These subconscious beliefs are not necessarily true, but they feel real because they were formed during vulnerable periods in our lives.

But just how do you give a two-finger salute to the past and live in the now?

Is it as easy as telling yourself that these things aren’t true?

Our Subconscious Mind and Critical Factor

Freud believed that we’re 10% conscious, 90% subconscious. Whatever the statistic, it’s clear that the brain is far more subconscious than conscious. The subconscious is a vast repository of all our memories and experiences. It forms the backbone of our core beliefs that shape our reality, values, and reactions. Between the conscious and subconscious lies the critical factor, a guardian that filters information based on our subconscious blueprint.

Your critical factor acts like a bouncer at a swanky nightclub with a strict dress code. If we try to slip anything past it that flouts our subconscious blueprint (our rules and core values), it tells us to pack up and leave. This set of rules means our critical factor decides whether or not something is going to be allowed in or out.

Reprogramming Your Mind

Changing deeply ingrained beliefs, such as the notion that putting ourselves first is selfish, requires patience and persistence. It’s about reprogramming our critical factor to accept that self-care is not just a luxury, but a necessity for our sanity and mental agility. 

For instance, if one of your core beliefs is that you have to put everyone above yourself because this is what you’ve witnessed growing up, when you start trying to put yourself first, the critical factor is going to tell you it’s wrong. Much like you can change the dress code in that swanky club, you can modify your core values and beliefs to ones that match your adult self. It isn’t as simple as swapping out a sheet of rules, though.

When we understand the way our mind works, it is possible to change and reprogram our minds by putting in place facts that challenge our core beliefs. 

So how do we tap into the subconscious?

Dealing With Past Shit Through Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool to access and reprogram the subconscious mind. It allows us to identify and address the root causes of negative beliefs and behaviours. Now, before you eyeroll me and click off this page, thinking I’ve gone all woo on you, hypnotherapy doesn’t mean sitting in a darkened room and being made to cluck like a chicken.

Clinical hypnotherapy is a safe and effective therapeutic technique.  It involves guided relaxation and focused attention to achieve a heightened state of awareness, enabling you to explore your subconscious, and replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones to make positive changes.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is a useful tool for learning to hear and listen to our thoughts. Journaling and meditation are just two of the ways that we can become more aware of feelings and emotions. This can be an especially critical step for those among us who’ve been taught to stuff our feelings deep down inside to be able to ‘cope’ in life.

My 5 Quick and Easy Ways to Relax guide shows you that you can be mindful without the mumbo-jumbo – no need to turn yourself into a pretzel and give thanks to the universe either.

By simply paying attention without judgment, it gives us a greater understanding of ourselves. Some of us can be more brave simply by paying attention to what’s going on and making a decision to do (or not do) the thing anyway. Some of us need help and support through those fears and anxieties. But being more self-aware is a great first step.

Regular mindfulness practice can reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, and enhance overall well-being.

The point here is that reprogramming our subconscious is going to take more work than just changing the conscious thoughts we think, though this work will help set you on the right path.

What Can You Do to Help Yourself?

Understanding how past experiences shape your current reality is crucial for personal growth. By acknowledging and addressing these influences, you can begin to heal and move forward. 

To move on and build a brighter future, understanding how your past experiences have set the bar for your life is essential.  You have the power to change your mindset. This is where hypnotherapy and mindfulness meditation come into play. 

Here are some practical steps to help you give a two-finger salute to the past:

  1. The Art of Recognising Thoughts: Take the time to reflect on what you regularly tell yourself. This is the first step in understanding what your subconscious puts into your mind to keep you safe. 
  2. Identifying the Core Beliefs: Make a note of them.  Do this without judgement – just write them down. Once you know what they are, write down how these are beliefs, not facts.
  3. Mindfulness Practice: Incorporate a mindfulness activity into your daily routine to enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation. Find a couple of methods that suit you, according to you to your mood and capacity that day.  Use my guide to help you.
  4. Get Some Help:  This stuff isn’t easy – if it was, we’d all be fucking radiant unicorns every day. Do some research and take a look at the testimonials of those you’re looking at.  Hang out in their world for a while to see what you think of them. 
  5. Positive Mindset: Look, this is easier said than done. But changing your negative self-talk is crucial in letting your critical factor know that YOU are the one in charge now.
  6. Consistency is Key: Change doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards these changes. 


Your subconscious mind plays a crucial role in shaping your life, but it doesn’t have to control it. 

You haven’t got blocks. You’ve picked up some negative beliefs about yourself that you absolutely can change if you want to. Some people can do it on their own through determination and mindfully paying attention to their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Others need help. 

At some point in our lives, something happened that left us with the belief that we’re not worthy or that we don’t deserve happiness. Let me tell you, you absolutely do deserve all the happiness and success you dream of, and you almost definitely can have it.

Whether through simple but powerful daily practices or through hypnotherapy, delving into your subconscious and making the changes you want at the source is like updating your operating system or creating new beautiful pathways in a glorious landscape. Whatever change you want to make, it is doable.

Maybe you’ve tried other methods to feel better but nothing seems to stick, and therefore the problem must be you.

Maybe you want to make lasting changes but don’t know where or how to start.

I’m here to guide and support you every step of the way until you feel confident enough to continue on your own. 

You can reach out to me here for a chat.

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